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1. |
truth
05:55
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so you call me on the phone
to say you can't try anymore
i'm trying to think but my thoughts don't make sense
i suppose i'll just lay in my bed
i saw your car in the driveway
i live just down the street from your family
i thought that last week you realized you still love me
maybe i'll always be caught in that daydream
i can't feel anything
i only feel for you
i know it's not healthy
but it's my only truth
i'm thinking in circles
and i haven't cried yet
i never wanted this to end
you say you still want to be friends
but i've never had friends
make me breakfast in bed
and tell me it works out in the end
i just want to know
if you already knew then
i can't feel anything
i only feel for you
i know it's not healthy
but it's my only truth
i'm thinking in circles
and i haven't cried yet
i never wanted this to end
sundays at the flower farm
you're holding tightly to my arm
i'm wishing more than anything
that things were how they used to be
i know she's daintier than me
don't even blame you for leaving
but in my mind all i can see
is someone else replacing me
i can't feel anything
i only feel for you
i know it's not healthy
but it's my only truth
i'm thinking in circles
and i haven't cried yet
i never wanted this to end
i never wanted this to end
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2. |
morning
02:44
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breathe in deeply
i promise you'll make it to morning
metal on flesh is only a sign that you're coping
lock all the doors
and crawl on all fours
and hide where only i can find you
maybe if you never spend time alone
your thoughts won't get through to your bones
maybe if you are always on your own
you'll learn how to be here alone
so breathe in deeply
i'll try to think of a good story
there's lions and bears and
a patch of blue hair in the bathtub
hide in your mess
make it cover the rest
of your silver and red and the floor
maybe if you play your guitar tonight
your fingers will bleed in the morning
maybe if you pick the pills off the floor
you'll sleep just a little more soundly
so breathe in deeply
i promise you'll make it to morning
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3. |
blood in the bath water
03:13
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i wish i could put sunshine in a needle
i wish all of my mirrors couldn't see
i wish i had a better voice
or at least felt i had the choice
to write happier songs regularly
it's not easy getting what i need
if i pretend to know what that means
i know it's easier not to think of me
or wonder if you may have jumped the ship
i know everyone's sick of it
with all my heartbreak in the mix
but it never feels right if you don't let it
clouds are rolling past my closed window
maybe if it's locked they'll never know
filling all the space in between
you and someone that you used to be
i find myself hiding between your teeth
burying myself between your sheets
and it's not easy getting what i need
if i pretend to know what that means
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4. |
teeth
03:21
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yesterday i felt my brain
tuck itself under my pillowcase
it pulsed as it tugged at my veins
making a mess of my tired old face
and i've given up trying to fly
hiding in whirlwinds that flow from my mind
heartbreak and bitter remorse
wrists all in knots but i promise it's fine
i'm alright
don't take them away
i'm alright
it's just a bad day
i'm alright
never need to break
i'm alright
they tell me to say
last month i shattered my teeth
they fell from my pockets, my hands fumbling
i've given up finding the means
to store them away from the eyes wandering
adventures were never my deal
i'll just stay inside where the next step is clear
unlocking is hard as that meal
when hounds glanced at me asking me to spill
i'm alright
don't take them away
i'm alright
it's just a bad day
i'm alright
never need to break
i'm alright
they tell me to say
and maybe next year
i'll be something clearer
a key and a lock
a glance in the mirror
i'm stumbling past myself
trying to keep them away
i ask them stay
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5. |
for anyone
03:28
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i'm a mess again
i've covered my thighs but the words still bleed in
and i don't have the courage to sin
hiding inside of my bed where we all know you've been
i know that it's been a few months
and you're probably seeing someone
but i can't seem to forget the love
that i promised i'd never give up
i'm fucked up again
i feel like i'm crying but tears refuse to grace my chin
and i haven't filled up my fridge
i'm so scared of the fullness that everyone tells me is bliss
and i know that this is pathetic
holding onto memories you've thrown in a ditch
and i know that i'm not the one
no i'm not, no i'm not, no i'm not for anyone
at least i'm writing again
it's the only piece of me communicative
it's surely not about fate
you told me i wasn't pretty once i gained weight
i know it's been a few months
and you're probably seeing someone
and i know that i'm not the one
no i'm not, no i'm not, no i'm not for anyone
no i'm not, i'm not, i'm not for anyone
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6. |
pretend
02:17
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i hope it doesn't hurt you
the way it hurts me
i hope that you're okay
and never thinking
about all of my mess ups
the way i know to be
and how i just opened up
to all your judging
i hope that you're coping
and you don't think i'm mean
i hope that your family
know i miss them greatly
i'd do all your laundry
if you'd let me around
but i know it's not easy
when my heart's on the ground
but we can all pretend that it's not there
we can say it's easy and it's fair
i'll tell everyone that you were kind
and loved me even through the end
if it means that you will once again
unlock your door and let me in, pretend
that i matter to you
that your love would stay true
that i was enough for you
in my head you're still blue
i said i love you, i still do
you just said "i care for you"
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i'll be okay Washington
i'll be okay is the late-night project of a human in washington state.
i try really hard.
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