tilt

by i'll be okay

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about

tilt is a very personal and introspective collection of songs and poetry written during a time filled with heart ache and struggle.

it is being released as a form of therapy for the creator, and with the intention of letting listeners know they're not alone.

credits

released April 29, 2016

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

i'll be okay Kennewick, Washington

i'll be okay is the late-night project of a human in washington state.

i try really hard.

contact / help

Contact i'll be okay

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Track Name: answers
speaking in the dark
whispers behind a wall
covering my face as you try hard not to fall
painting your eyes gold
when you tell me that you're sold
just to prove that your inquiry is bold

and the answer to that's not so easy
even though you just asked if i'm sleeping
no, the question you asked isn't easy
even though you just asked why you're breathing

guessing what is next
before faking your own death
is there purgatory when they can't lay your soul to rest?
bracing for the chill
never to be filled with my hands or my heart or my pills

and the answer to that's not so easy
even though you just asked if i'm sleeping
no, the question you asked isn't easy
even though you just asked why you're breathing

slipping down again
down the road from all your friends
i don't think that they remember my name or my existence
they say "stars are made of light"
but i don't think that sounds right
i see replays of your eyes when i look up at night

and the answer to that's not so easy
even though you just asked if i'm sleeping
no, the question you asked isn't easy
even though you just asked why you're breathing

and the answer to that's not so easy
even though you just asked if i'm sleeping
no, the question you asked isn't easy
even though you just asked why you're breathing still
Track Name: strange, children
i think i left myself at home,
wherever that is
and i think all the people i've known
are all in my head
last night i saw the angel of death
i begged them to take me
and they said "not yet"
and i'm tired of being a fake
i think that my mind was replaced
Track Name: there's a ghost in my room
can you see me?



please don't see me.
Track Name: spine
there are names in the room that you don't understand, your spine protruding from your skin as they wrap the cuff around your bicep and wait for the number to appear.
you are cold from standing in front of the refrigerator, before returning empty-handed to your stiff sheets and locked door.
the man behind the counter, behind the invisible safety net, won't let you have the shower key. "you are too frail to stand under the stream", he says. "too small to hold the weight of water in your hair."
i look over at you, from my scale to yours. you smirk like you have a secret you're afraid of. i see the shapes under your clothes that are not made from your flesh.
i left before you, made up stories, convinced them that my hands were not as shaky as yours were. i let them put needles into my arms, i let them put bandages around my legs, i let them poke and prod until they were sure i'd be okay away from you.
but now i miss the white walls. i have dreams about the pencils scratching on paper as we try to write something that will creat some laughter in this building full of screaming.
i'm scared of you, and you're scared of me. or maybe we're scared of the devils in our minds. but the demons are friends now.
we have no choice but to talk.
Track Name: foothills
i am not the foothills to your mountains
i am not the comfort in your sheets
i am lost somewhere in the static
i am lost somewhere in between

but i'm still trying to be anything
i just want to be
something more than this bad impression
of everything you need

i am caught far behind your freckles
i am caught somewhere in your cheek
i am not the ignorant, the sinning
i am not what you want me to be

but i'm still trying to be anything
i just want to be
something more than this bad impression
of everything you need

i'm still trying to be anything
i just want to be
something more than this bad impression
of everything you need
Track Name: mind
no one seems to mind when you say that you're mine
no one seems to mind when you spew all these lies
no one seems to mind when i can't shut my eyes
no one seems to mind when i wander at night
no one seems to mind when i rip out my hair
no one seems to mind that it's all so unfair
no one seems to mind when i turn down the dare
but no one seems to mind when i say i don't care

and this medication makes me want to forget my existence
and this hesitation makes me stop this in it's tracks

no one seems to mind when i say i can't cry
no one seems to mind when i know that's a lie
no one seems to mind when i say my goodbyes
no one seems to mind when the sun doesn't rise
no one seems to mind when i fall through the floor
no one seems to mind when i want something more
no one seems to notice when my wrists get this sore
no one seems to mind, at least not anymore

and this medication makes me want to forget my existence
and this hesitation makes me stop this in it's tracks
and this medication makes me want to forget our existence
and this hesitation makes me stop us in our tracks